Why do we call him "Singe-er"??? Well here is the story. I was sick and
had called out from work. I was desperate and took two pills from my junk
drawer... "Tylenol sinus something" - it was not until later that I realized
that the normal dose was one.
So as I lay in bed, I started having weird dreams and 'tripping' (this was
late afternoon) - In one of my dreams 'all holly hell' broke out. Kids
screaming, dog barking, wife yelling, things banging. Turns out it wasn't a
dream.
Apparently, a squirrel decided to make our fireplace his home. In my
drugged up state I decided to play Squirrel-Dunde. I rigged up a snare with
a broom handle and phone cord. I reached into the fireplace to capture my
target. (of course now that I am out of my mental 'coma' - I remember seeing
these things fit through a hole the size of a nickel. So my snare would
have worked until I got Singe-er just about in the middle of the living
room) - Anyway, "Singe-er" jumped up the chimney and I thought out of our
lives.
I was rewarded that night - for being the mighty hunter.
Well, the fallowing night. Guess who was back. This time I got "Singe-er"
to once again jump up the chimney. However, now I noticed he wasn't going
out. He was just sitting on top of the dampener. I figured I would 'show
him the light' and shoved a bunch of newspapers into the fireplace and lit
it up.
Just as planned the fireplace lit up in a big fireball. Not as planned
"Singe-er" pressed the wrong button on the elevator in 'Casa-da-Carney'. He
fell back square into the flames and started banging around in the
fireplace. Seeing the only way out as the glass doors. He smashed up
against them. I was on the other side pushing as hard as I could to keep
him in. Sunny, now very excited to see his arch nemeses so close at hand,
was freaking out trying to get in. So there I was. A 2 lbs smoking
squirrel with a ball of fire behind him trying to get out, a 105lb Yellow
Labrador foaming at the mouth trying to get in and me in the middle. I
faced that moral question that everyone faces in his or her life. Do I let
the squirrel burn in front of my very eyes or do I release him into the
house. Thinking of having a flaming squirrel being chased around the house
by a lab and the clean-up afterward...
I decided - "Let'em Burn"
Well, the fire died out just as quickly as it started. And "Singe-er" once
again made an attempt up the fireplace... once again falling back into the
little bit of flames remaining. That is when I figured "Singe-er" wasn't
the smartest squirrel in squirrel-ville.
Sandie called up one of her old contacts from the apartment complex and had
them drop off a squirrel trap. We loaded it up with corn, peanut butter and
corn flakes. That night about 9ish - 'slam!' - we finally had "Singe-er"
Next day I drove about 5 miles away to a park and let "Singe-er" go... as he
ran off, I thought of the good times we had together... perhaps one day,
I'll see a squirrel digging through a dumpster at CVS looking for old tubes
of Rogaine and I'll know that "Singe-er" is doing just fine.
